A pig and a poke (The MLS “Menu”)

This week I actually got hungry reading the MLS and the LA Times real estate ads. Check out these bloopers so you can see what’s currently on the menu. I must warn you, you may want to hit the sauce and trim the fat:

I’m In the Mood For Food 

“This hame is well stocked.” (Thank you, Porky Pig.) 

“Hear is the glolden egg!” (…Which apparently comes scrambled.) 

“Counter w/ new pop and fresh” ( Fat little dough boy included.)

“This one has alla the gravy” (Said Carmella Soprano as she proudly served her baked ziti.)

“You’ll marble when you see this beauty” (Bummer. At least Lot’s wife got to be a condiment.)

“We hamdle REOs” (That’s one way to bring home the bacon.) 

Ham Fingers…So The Pork Lingers                                            

“Small pad w/ view of peer” (Why go home when you can sleep at the office?) 

“This is not a TIC” (…said Jeff Goldblum’s  hands.) 

“This pad in the Hollywood Hills is phat.” (So is your head, Biggie Smalls.) 

“Cabinets w/ polished mental inserts” (Listing w/ punch drunk mental idiot.)

“This is a Short Shale” (Say that five times really fast.) 

Is It Happy hour Yet? 

“Just done finished floored” (Bottle done, finished agent on floor.) 

“Cork floors in bar aria” (Methinks the cork was popped several drinks ago.) 

“Stunning hammerred doors” (Offered by stumbling hammered dufus.) 

“This condonimiun has all the trimmins” (Sauced agent has the tremorrrrs.) 

SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE – THE FINALE!

“Bask in the warm sin by the pool” (Yay – party at Charlie Sheen’s  pad!)