The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and this week’s picks demonstrate the beauty of the written turd. Uh, word. Check out these absurdities if you want a few laughs:

Expect the Unexpected

“Please compact me” (Last words of Jimmy Hoffa)

“Good desin” (So the exorcism was a success?)

“Fax or bail docs” (If I bail out a doc, can I get a free colonoscopy?)

“House with colorful accent” (Must be an Italian villa…)

“Watch the sun set over the buffs” (Gold’s Gym must be up for sale.)

When Ordinary Just Won’t Do

“Showing Tim – 1:00 pm” (Does Tim have something to brag about?)

“Widow shudders” (Because an idiot just walked into the room?)

“Coffin ceilings”   (Perfect for an agent who is already DOA.)

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“One car grudge” (Kia owner, I presume?)

“Ranch w/ 2 dunk houses” (When a coffee cup just won’t satisfy your donut…)

One Toke Over the Line

“Drop in sot” (Description under Uncle Paddy’s photo at Chuck-a-Jug.)

“Lick your own pants” (Recommended when you slosh your martini. )

“Designer saint” (Vera Wang before she left the convent…)

Typo of the Year:

“A wonderfuk house” – (Uh, I think that’s only legal in Nevada.)

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