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Editorials

Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem



Gwen Banta | 2010/08/27  | 31 Comments

horse teeth1 Home on De Range MLS Mayhem

My dear readers, friends, colleagues and fellow inmates: Please think before you participate in MLS-Speak. If you don’t, you’ll come off like a horse’s petute. This week’s fertile field of bloopers was more like a tribute to Calabasas,  Roy Rogers and Gene Autry. Check out these bloopers from Home on De-Range (Sorry, Champion and Trigger):

Home for the Deranged

“Beautiful Calabasas villa with mounting view” (Hmmm, a house with livestock porn.)

“Parklike groans” (Must be in Calabasas…)

“Extra guest pking” (Stop groaning and mounting, and we’ll stop pking.)

“Ranch with Heated pole” (For Calabasas stripper cows?)

“3Bd/2Ba horse for sale” (Let me guess…four square feet?)

“Pantless approval process.” (Something tells me this broker is in Calabasas…)

Meds Required Here

“Seller died – fixer.” (Breaking news: That ship has sailed.)

“New Koala Fixtures” (Upgraded Down Under?)

“House and one lush acher” (I’ll tell Uncle Paddy to lay off the Guinness and shut his pie hole.)

“House is on a slob” (Don’t worry, after four pints, Uncle Paddy can’t feel a thing.)

Who Let the Inmates Out?

“New entrance rump” (Uh, rumps are for exits, you horse’s arse!)

“A lot of house for little monkey.” (If it can accommodate a big ape, I’ll alert my ex.)

“Crash preferred” (Thank you Jet Blue.)

“Send Approval letter and proof of funs” (How ‘bout a photo of me in a party hat?)

“Salad, bugers and treats served” (Lovely – are Kleenex included?)

And The Beat Goes On

“New Pool and diving broad” (Great offer – if you can get her to clean the pool.)

“New mable in the kitchen.” (Old Mable in the coffin?)

“Stoned walkdaway” (Stoned agent couldn’t.)

“Ninnys attached to kitchin” (Ninny face down on  keyboard.)

And We’re Back to Calabasas

“Historic Horse Ranch for Sale – Four Generations Porn Here (Uh, let me guess – mounting views, parklike groans…and a lot of horsing around? Giddyup, Trigger, we’re outta here!)


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This article published on Friday, August 27th, 2010 at 10:00 am | Contact the editor

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Topics: Editorials, Friday, Highlights, Marketing, Public Relations, RE Moments, Real Estate, Realtors, Residential

About this Columnist (Full Profile)

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I’ve garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer’s cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

Email Gwen Banta



Comments (31)

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  1. Real Estate Feeds:

    Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem: My dear readers, friends, colleagues and fellow inmates: Please think before you pa… http://bit.ly/a5PZan
  2. Thad Schell:

    Real Estate News: Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem http://bit.ly/duAqF6
  3. Real Estate Ninja:

    Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem http://bit.ly/bOma6M
  4. RealEstate Babble:

    AgentGenius: Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem http://bit.ly/d9QFlj Full http://bit.ly/9pwxOs
  5. Amy Geddes:

    RT @RealEstateBabbl: AgentGenius: Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem http://bit.ly/9pwxOs (Laughed so hard I cried. Attn RE friends: proofread :)

  6. Marty Reed:

    RT @clareitycoo: RT @RealEstateBabbl: AgentGenius: Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem http://bit.ly/9pwxOs (OMG, hysterically laughing!)
  7. Tom Lyons:

    Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem – My dear readers, friends, colleagues and fellow inmates: Please think before … http://tinyurl.com/2a8q9mp
  8. kristin terry:

    Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem: My dear readers, friends, colleagues and fellow inmates: Please think before you pa… http://bit.ly/bOma6M
  9. United Country :

    Oh my. // Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem from @agentgenius: http://ow.ly/2vKQb
  10. Andy Theobald:

    An MLS description targeted at @chachisays (immediately below "3bd/2ba horse for sale") – http://bit.ly/bZpbNh
  11. Greg W. Anderson:

    RT @AccessClosing: An MLS description targeted at @chachisays (immediately below "3bd/2ba horse for sale") – http://bit.ly/bZpbNh
  12. realdiggity:

    Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem: comments http://bit.ly/9iwA5X
  13. MetroBrokersTV:

    Home on De-Range MLS Mayhem – My dear readers, friends, colleagues and fellow inmates: Please think before you part… http://ow.ly/18Lnew
  14. Stewart Title Group:

    MLS Bloopers (AgentGenius) http://dld.bz/t2w7
  15. Nelbee:

    Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem http://bit.ly/cFW2uW @AgentGenius
  16. AgentGenius:

    #agnow Those are some good ones! http://bit.ly/dpRaEu
  17. Paula Henry:

    RT @agentgenius: Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem: My dear readers, friends, colleagues and fellow inmates: Please think http://bit.ly/a5PZan
  18. AgentGenius:

    #agnow Alex, I am amazed at how often "deck" is misspelled. I really think it's a guy-thing :) http://bit.ly/dpRaEu
  19. IXACT Contact :

    These listing typos crack me up. Enjoy! http://budurl.com/kc7r
  20. IXACT Contact :

    These listing typos crack me up. Enjoy! http://budurl.com/kc7r #realestate #realtor
  21. AgentGenius:

    #agnow Gwen… some of these were hilarious…. thanks for the laugh…
    “Salad, bugers and treats served” – … http://bit.ly/dpRaEu
  22. Gwen Banta:

    YIPPY-TY-AYE-AY – THE BLOOPER ROUNDUP!: http://agentgenius.com/real-estate-sales-marketing/marketing/home-on-de-range-mls-mayhem/#comments
  23. AgentGenius:

    #agnow Didn't get to this until today – wish I'd gotten to it over the weekend – I need the laugh! Always unique a… http://bit.ly/dpRaEu
  24. AgentGenius:

    #agnow Joe! And to think I thought you had gone AWOL – so happy to make you smile! http://bit.ly/dpRaEu
  1. Maui Realtor Alex Cortez says:
    2010/08/28 at 12:25 am

    LOL. Funny stuff, Gwen. I recently saw: “Entertain outdoors with your oversized wooden dick”.

    Reply
  2. Jason Improta - Calabasas Homes for Sale says:
    2010/08/28 at 5:28 pm

    Those are some good ones!

    Reply
  3. gwen banta says:
    2010/08/30 at 1:46 pm

    Alex, I am amazed at how often “deck” is misspelled. I really think it’s a guy-thing :)

    Reply
  4. Jeff Belonger says:
    2010/08/31 at 1:26 am

    Gwen… some of these were hilarious…. thanks for the laugh…
    “Salad, bugers and treats served” – I guess I don’t need to go to a fast food joint, I can just pretend to buy a house.
    “Pantless approval process.” – sounds better than a slumber party. Will there be girls also?
    “House is on a slob” – my husband and you will get along fine.
    “New entrance rump” – sounds like a great party… where do I sign up…

    Anyhoo… these were good… I know people make mistakes, but I guess they left proof reading out of proof…

    Reply
  5. Joe Loomer says:
    2010/08/31 at 4:46 pm

    Didn’t get to this until today – wish I’d gotten to it over the weekend – I need the laugh! Always unique and hilarious, Gwen, thank you!

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

    Reply
  6. gwen banta says:
    2010/08/31 at 5:26 pm

    Joe! And to think I thought you had gone AWOL – so happy to make you smile!

    Reply
  7. Eric Myers says:
    2010/10/22 at 8:03 pm

    Thank You! I needed a good laugh! with todays market a good joke seems to make everything a little better- keep up the good work!

    Reply

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