Did I Say That?
“Nice now - much better than beef” (McDonald’s ad – shortly after the “meat” was identified as wildebeest…)
“Just needs a moo” (Said the McDonald’s inspector shortly before placing a skull and crossbones on the door.)
“AC will be faxed” (Interesting – is it a paper fan?)
“This is a multiple offer scenery” (Grinned the sailor as he exited the house of ill repute.)
“Hidden safe in closet” (Uh, do you see any contradictions here, Sherlock?)
“DWP must remove 2 tees” (It’s hard to keep those annoying aerialist golfers off the power lines.)
Did I Mean That?
“Hand-painted tikes” (Uh, either you have ugly kids or those are garden gnomes, dude.)
“No evidance of shiting” (Have you tried a coffee enema?)
“Attendant on roof will be removed” (Obviously this house is on a Jet Blue flight path…)
“Cleaver use of metals” (“Lizzie Borden took and ax…”)
Did I Type That?
“Cat in driveway will be towed” (Can’t you just give him a ticket and a Denver Boot?)
“House on tent acres” (That’s good to know for my bivouac weekends with the Boy Scouts.)
“Drop in for a few migetes” (Uh, I believe they prefer to be called “small people.”)
“Electric decor” (Reason #1 not to wear a metal hat in the bathroom if your aim sucks.)
Did I Pass That???
“No open house Super Bowel Sunday” (Another Saturday night at The Burrito Beanery, eh?)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!