I’ve never wanted to say this.

Last week, I lost my home of three years. Despite my best efforts, on Tuesday January 5th, 2010, my house appeared on the Bexar County Courthouse steps and was sold for less than I paid for it. As you can imagine, I was quite upset about it, but I must admit I’m handling it much better than I suspected I would. I can hear some readers out there thinking “why would you tell us this – why would you put it out there for the world to see?” I thought long and hard about whether or not to turn this into a blog post. In the end, I remembered my point and focus in The Stigliano Chronicles – to talk about my real estate experiences from the perspective of a new agent. This mandate, given to me by Benn and Lani back in 2008, has always been my focus and will be, even after I’ve been in this business longer than Bill Lublin (he was born with a license, wasn’t he?). It’s not always easy to write these posts as I do sometimes forget some of the stress and strain of being a new agent, but I do always try to think back to myself in 2008 and add in the knowledge I’ve gleaning since.

As a new agent, I was told time and time again to be prepared to have some very lean months. I was told everything from two months to two years. In retrospect, 2008 wasn’t exactly the best time to leave my career as a musician (that often paid very well and when it didn’t, at least allowed me to squeak by) and join the Realtor® ranks, but I had chosen to do so for a multitude of my own reasons. I had a plan for my life and wanted to follow it, instead of spending time regretting it. Because of my relationship with the band, I had been able to save up quite a bit in a savings account, so I was prepared for the so called “building of my business.”

It wasn’t easy to build a business in 2008. While many of the seasoned agents I knew were struggling, I was just trying to figure it all out and get involved where I could. I certainly didn’t make a fortune that year. Instead, I slowly ate through my savings, trying to hang on to what I had as tight as I could. As the bank accounts dwindled, my royalties from the band also dried up. Although we continued to generate royalties, I was in a position where I was paying back the band’s corporate accounts (as we had borrowed against royalties during our own lean times). With little coming in other than my wife’s salary, we conserved everywhere we could and were doing fine until 2009, when we began to get behind occasionally. We would get a month behind and pay two, get three months behind and pay one, get two months behind and catch up. It was a constant cycle of getting behind and getting back to even.

Late in the year, I lost two transactions. Both were to simple causes (and not a case of the client dumping me), but nonetheless, that was two commissions I could have used. At the same time, my wife left her job (to save her sanity) and was unable to get work for two months. I got a bit more behind than I had expected and in turn, the mortgage company made their move and began the foreclosure process in late November. In an effort to “do the right thing,” I spoke with the lender and the lawyers and worked on my “loss mitigation package” to get into their hands.

We should have been a dream case.

Looking through my hardship letter, it was pretty clear to see what got us from Point A to Point B. No wild spending sprees, no million dollar home, no boats…even our car was modest (we actually traded in our BMW for a Honda when we moved here). We just hit an unfortunate set of circumstances and were making ground on them, but not fast enough. This year looks to be a great year for me as a real estate agent (in my past six months at my new brokerage I was named “Mr. Zero-To-Sixty in Thirty Days” because of the complete turn around in my business compared to the first half of the year with my old brokerage). My wife got a temporary job after two months of looking day in and day out and that job is now turning to a permanent position – one with with a nice raise. We could pull out of this with some help from the lender.

Unfortunately, we were like so many others in the middle of a foreclosure, working uphill against a lender who was flooded with tons of people just like us. Although they tried to escalate my case to get a decision before the auction, we never got a chance to have them review the package.

As you can imagine, my wife and I are upset. What upsets me the most? Losing the deck on which we had some fabulous BBQs with great friends. Not being able to finish the projects that I wanted to do to the house. Knowing that I won’t have my neighbors anymore. The idea that we’ll probably move to a smaller space. Are any of those going to kill me or stop me? Of course not. In fact, my wife and I have managed to put a positive spin on it all and in some way are looking forward to a new place to live (we typically move once every three years).

So where’s the new agent tie-in?

There’s actually two sides of this as far as a “lesson” goes. First, for the new agent just getting started in the business – please, plan ahead and then double your plan. You may have success right out of the starting gate. I know a girl who took a phone duty call her first day and sold a $500K house to that caller. Not a bad start to the business. I also know plenty of agents who have been in business longer than I have who are still striving to get their feet moving. Real estate is not a piece of cake. It’s hard work and sometimes, no matter how hard you work, you still won’t get anything for it. Being prepared to make sacrifices and having a cushion to fall back on will serve you well. Even if you get that $500K buyer on day one, keep your plan in place.

The second thing I want to stress is not just for new agents – it’s for all agents. The concept I want to stress? Compassion. The people you work with all have stories. They have their reasons, their beliefs, and their hopes and dreams. Be mindful and compassionate towards those stories. Take the time to get to know your client, you never know how much they might be just like you or be in need of your help. If you’re working short sales and foreclosures, be even more compassionate. If ever there was a time in a person’s life when they needed someone to lean on – this is most certainly it. The flood of emotions, the anger, the frustration, the depression…they’re all powerful emotions that can literally freeze your clients in their tracks. Try to be understanding and helpful. Reach out to them and let them know you’re not just looking for the next commission check. Do this through your actions, not your 100-page bio telling them how you “care for your clients.”

The outcome?

My wife and I are resilient. We’ll work hard for the next few years and try to pay off some of our other debt with the money we’ll save. We’ll enjoy a new home in a new part of town and make new friends. We’ll continue our lives and not dwell in the past. We will survive and come out the other side better than ever. And I will have a new lesson under my belt that will help me understand my clients better than ever before.

photo courtesy of respres (probably one of the most referenced photos about foreclosure I’ve ever seen)

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