Let’s face it – in a world of real estate sharks, the biggest and meanest will win the biggest prize, will make the most money and will have the largest number of devotees.  So what are you waiting for?  It is all about YOU and YOUR bottom dollar.  Time to be selfish people!!!  Here are 10 ways to be a successful Realtor Bully:

1.  When showing your own listings to other agents, make sure you have a lot of branded paperwork and flyers to hand out to their clients – this is a foolproof way of getting your name and contact information in their client’s face.   Throw client etiquette out the window….that’s for wussies.  Handing print outs of your other listings is also a great idea because you know the other agent is not doing their work.

2.  Never EVER let a cooperating agent speak – it’s your listing after all, so make sure you show the property, make sure you don’t let them get a word in, and sound confident and arrogant.  Conversation should be directly with the client, never with the other agent….that would only show weakness and show the client who is in control.

3.  When receiving offers, lower the cooperating agent’s commish as much as possible (never your own) – and scare them into thinking that if they don’t accept counter as-is, the seller will walk.  This is especially effective when you know the buyer has been looking for a while and really, really wants the house.  Don’t worry, you will not be reported to the local board because that agent needs to work with you because you “own” the area.

4.  Show up late to your appointments – this will demonstrate superiority.

5.  Contradict cooperating agent as much as possible in front of the client – again….you need to show the client you are better than the schmuck they hired.

6.  It’s all about the size of your bite.   Being boisterous and overbearing, even if you don’t know what you are talking about, will always guarantee that the client pays more attention to you.  Think obnoxious! and never show weakness.

7.  When you get a good listing that can benefit one of your clients, make sure you make that listing inaccessible to other agents.  This will guarantee a good price for your client and possibly a double commish for you! Talk about a Win Win!

8.  Schedule showing appointments at the same time – the more the merrier.  Don’t let cooperating agents know ahead of time and let them all show up at the same time.  This will give prospective buyers a sense of urgency, making the property seem desirable while at the same time making them feel pressured.  (the memory of their reactions will provide entertainment for months to come).

9.  If you get an offer on a listing that will not benefit you – don’t present it!  Forget Real Estate Law, who’s going to find out anyway?

10.  You are the best, remind yourself and everyone that surrounds you at all times.  Your top producer status should be posted everywhere you can possibly print stuff on – the amount of transactions should be there as well (doesn’t hurt to exaggerate a bit either) and make sure you go out of your way to put down and lie about your competition.

DISCLOSURE: If you did not recognize the sarcasm above, you should not be out alone and could be a danger to society.  Please reconsider your current position and lighten up…….sometimes a mojito can help

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