Real estate listing typos and bloopers that will delight and offend

From blundering fools to complete tools, the bloopers on the MLS were hysterical this week, friends. I received some great contributions from John M. Scott of  beautiful San Francisco, Jane Peters from right here in our beloved L.A., and Bruce Walter from the great Hoosier State of Indiana. Enjoy the the goofs, and have a wonderful holiday, everyone!

First the Fools…

“Large fool” (Is that the slogan on your business card?)

“Three badrooms” (Two turtle doves and an agent in an i-di-ot tree.)

“Small lender” (That politically incorrect – I believe they are called elves…)

“Parka in living room” (Eskimo in the hot tub?)

“It has a spa tube” (There’s nothing like a group colonic.)

“Must have load approval” (Is this criteria for buying a jock strap?)

“9′ Clings” (If this is one of those Velcro walls, I suggest you put on a helmet next time.) 

Now The Tools…

“New garnet counters” (A jewel and a tool.)

“Lovely hose with room to grow” (My arse would appreciate a pair of those!)

“Charmin Santa Monica Home. Neer beach, Fwy, Shopping mol, School, Restorant.” (Call 911 – your lobotomy just kicked in.) 

“With lover level overlooking unique bar area” (Just what I want for Christmas – a drunk hunk and a bunk!) 

“Hight demant area” (Highly demented agent.)

“Area to construct a poon” (Does someone need his horns trimmed?)

“New cranit counter tops” (The seller should tell you to cranit!)

This Week’s Bottoms Up Award Goes to:

“Large 5 badroom & 2 ba home with hordwoods floors, loundry room…in desrable San Pablo area very lage floor plan”   (First, put down your drink and your bong. Back away from all sharp objects. Remove the lampshade from your head and the light bulb from your mouth.  Do not, I repeat, do not, stick your car keys in the outlet again just to see if your nose will light up like Rudolph’s!)