Marketing bloopers and the bare truth, nude and slick

Happy New Year, friends, and welcome to the 2013 Blooper Blog. As expected, the year started out with a number of hysterical real estate marketing bloopers from the MLS and from real estate ads all over the U.S. Thanks to Patty DaSilva of Davie, FL for her great contributions. Please enjoy:

Ringing in the Nude…uh, I mean “New”

“Nude and slick” (This must be a home for mud wrestlers.)

“Rein damage” (Explained Rudolph when asked about his ugly bald patches.)

“This home will see itself” (Ah…a house with insight!)

“Beautiful 4 Bd/2 Ba bed horse” (Suggested  Odysseus, but the Greeks voted for a horse with no plumbing.)

“New ears discount” (Said Theo Van Gogh to his brother Vincent as he handed him a box with a strange, fleshy object inside.)

Letting Go of the Past

“Roof has new shackles” (How wise of your keepers not to let you wander off!)

“Holidie with us” (…Said the cheerful mortician.)

“Please wipe foot” (Message on Long John Silver’s welcome mat.)

“Start New Year with a bag” (That explains your hideous date.)

“No showings – agent abscessed” (Hmmm…I just thought a gang of elk had sneezed on his face.)

Fresh Starts

“New dishwasher – in kitchen” (Alas, the end of the dishwasher-on-the-roof era.)

“Celebrate with us in 013” (Hey everyone – New Year’s party at Augustus Caesar’s house!)

“Bring roy for secret grab” (Roy has already been arrested twice for that.)

“Knocker is high one” (So were mine until they went all National Geographic on me.)

“Open during bat parade” (What a concept – black rodent floats that land in your hair!)

Whoa, Buddy!

“Hoppy new year – see new prick” (This must be the Chinese Year of the Viagra.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember, spell well and sell!