Endless marketing typos
Well, my friends, you are certainly in for some laughs this week. Thanks to Jan Pastras and Carlo Cappomazza of Los Angeles for their side-splitting contributions from the MLS and local real estate ads. We never seem to run out, so please enjoy:
Hel-lo-o-o?
“Open 11 AM – 2 PMS Tues” (I’m already experiencing irritation and minor cramping.)
“Chickend cop” (A cop in a chicken suit?)
“Wall needs retainer” (Apparently you’re moonlighting now as an orthodontist.)
“Please sign in and dare” (Strip poker, anyone?)
“Speed bums” (Hence the term, “He was given the ‘bum’s rush’.”)
Are You Sure?
“No smoking – fry area” (Even a Col. Sanders’ chicken deserves one last smoke before hitting the fryer.)
“Very poopular area” (Are you selling a house or a dog park?)
“Club foot tub” (How do you find orthopedic shoes to fit?)
“60′ boat deck” (That gives new meaning to “dry docked.”)
“Big yawd” (I suspect this house is in Boston.)
Do You Want To Re-Think That?
“Bonus room not permanented” (Neither is your career.)
“House has been saged” (No doubt to cover the smell of the weed you’ve been smoking.)
“Discount models” (Hence the toothless girls.)
“Seder closet” (…Which is why your clothes smell like gefilte fish.)
Kindly Move Away From All Sharp Objects
“God updates” (That explains the Burning Bush in the front yard.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.