Out of the Gate!
“Must be approved by our blender” (Methinks you drank what was IN the blender.)
“Lvg rm rig included” (Sign on Jed Clampett’s old homestead.)
“Near univarsity” (And yet so far off-base…)
“Waist pipe installed” (Hmmm- outpatient liposuction?)
“Subject to canceltration” (Ouch - cancel and cut off their b_ _ls!)
Around the Bend!
“No repairs will be mad” (But my buyer may be…)
“Across from Rivesside Chatter School” (No doubt they’re chattering about your spelling.)
“Hovering above Sunset Blvd.” (That’s just a shadow from Kim Kardashian’s derriere.)
“The stove is disfunctional.” (If you live in a glass house, beware of flying stones…)
“New chopping center coming soon” (It seems they’re developing my old neighborhood in New Jersey…)
At the Finish Line!
“Sliders open up” (If they’re White Castle sliders, what will open up is your colon.)
“View from treetops” (Mused the misguided parachutist..)
“Swamp cools house” (Hence the giant mosquito eating your face.)
“Opporturnity to expand” (And yet you’re so under-developed…)
Bringing Up the Rear
“Call – we provide de tail” (If you’re providing “de tail,” I hope you’re in Nevada.)
“Near Thigh Town – (That’s close to the place where I got pregnant.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!