Got Your Goat
“Let’s meet our goats together” (Sign on the meeting tent at Lost Shepherds Anonymous.)
“Georges house – open Sun” (When George steps out of the shower to the gasps of hoards of buyers – you’re toast, dude.)
“Check out our properties on Goggle” (This must be the new search engine for snorkeling Realtors.)
“Unieek floor planned” (…Not as unique as your language skills.)
“Law in back” (Meth lab in basement.)
Going to the Dogs
“Dog rub in back” (If I lift my paw, can I get a rub, too?)
“We antiseptic tenant move-out soon” (Do you give tenants a Karen Silkwood shower and then throw them to the curb?)
“Property line marked by popes” (Newsflash: The liquid on the fence is dog pee, not holy water, pal.)
“Good view in bedroom” (That explains why your neighbor is panting in your driveway.)
“Spot on carpet not blood” (And I suppose the chalk outline is art?)
Cat Got our Tongue?
“The house hasss.” (Just one more example why one shouldn’t type during a heroin nod.)
“Snax servd” (It must have been Alphabet soup…because someone ate a few of your letters.)
“Hysteric area” (Welcome to L.A.)
“Please subsacribe to our newslerrer” (I can hardly contain my enthusiasm.)
Enough Said
“This large hose will excite you” (Back off, buddy – Those with delusions wake up with contusions.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.